I'm Not Too Old For This

Things on the west coast have been, we'll say, less than earth shattering, world rocking wild as of late. I like to think the "work hard, play hard" motto is what keeps us all from burning down cubicle walls and shoving our hands in the paper shredder, and yet lately I'm only seeing the "work hard" segment. You can see how this is cause for concern. I'm not entirely sure how I've allowed my social life to fall into such a state of disrepair but I've heard some dirty rumors that it has something to do with getting "older". I don't know a whole lot about this "older" but I don't think I like it. Suddenly my peers are talking about how they "can't go out" because it's a "work night". I'm sorry folks but, much like the sentence "I don't like pizza" I'm unable to understand those words when you string them together in that order. Nor do I understand how "older" applies to anyone with a 2 as the first digit of their age. People in their fifties say they'd kill to be in their twenties again. If this is what they'd commit a class A felony for, I'm pretty sure they'd be pissed. Seriously, when did we get serious?

You know what, I've got an idea, please stop asking what I do for a living. Reserve that for my thirties or, better yet, my eighties. I'd like for people to go back to asking me what I want to be when I grow up. That's a far more interesting question. Furthermore, I don't recall a retirement age from beer pong or an expiration date at the bottom of the Kings rules. And I'm pretty sure there's no maximum age for staying til closing time either. Let's get back to these time honored tried and true traditions. Why would we stray from them? When did Friday night turn into 2 glasses of wine, some appetizers, and everyone turning in at 9 o'clock? What happened to tequila shots and Journey at 2am, cramming in that last swig of whatever's on tap before the bouncer kicks you out? Don't stop belieeeeeeevin!!!!!!!

College graduation wasn't the retirement of stupid fun. Kids aren't either (though they are admittedly a speed bump). Life is short, the road ahead is long, you can sleep when you're dead. Raise a glass for a toast; til our livers give out or we keel over, we're not too old for this!